12 April 2008

Lonely, But Not Alone

After seeing the Braves defeat Mobile last night, I went to Martin's to be with friends. A couple of local bands played.

They were good, but the area where they were playing was too crowded and loud. I didn't feel all that comfortable, so I went to another portion of the bar that was less crowded and loud.

I relaxed. I wasn't really in the mood for being out too late but needed to socialize.

I've not seen many of my friends in quite a while, and I wanted to at least visit with them-- even if I was getting pretty tired. The only reason I was able to stay up that late was because I had a beverage with a shot of espresso earlier that evening.

With my life being extremely busy this semester, I've not been able to socialize with my friends. I've been a stranger to them, and I don't like that.

I believe I do good work at the college. That being said, one of the things I don't like about the college where I work is that a lot of the people who are employed there are older and married, and the college does absolutely nothing to make single people such as myself feel welcome.

Even though I've worked at the college for several years, I still get the sense that I don't belong. I think it's because I've had no other associations with the college other than my employment.

In the several years I've been here in the Jackson area, I've become disappointed that I've not found someone with whom I could share my life with. Rare is the woman in Jackson who interests me, who is interested in me, and is available.

People have said I'm picky, and I will admit that to be the truth. I'd rather be picky than not.

While friends have met their significant others online, I've found the sites in question to be worthless. And so, I'm 40 years old and lonely, but not alone.

I know what my friends will say-- and they've said it before-- don't be so picky. And I usually respond by saying: Okay then, where are the women in the Jackson area who are interested in a non-churchgoing male librarian?

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